Are you nice, or good?

We often hear “Oh that guy/girl is really nice!” or maybe when asked on the spot to describe someone you consider a friend we tend to over use the word.free hugs There is nothing wrong at all with that description, and I’m sure once we are thinking we use different words to describe our likes and dislikes of our friends. I read somewhere online “Niceness is an external action, goodness is internal. Don’t try to be a nice person, try to be a good person. if you’re a good person the niceness will manifest naturally.” After reading that, i completely realized how there is such a big difference. i always knew that people can act “nice” or “kind” but i never took it into further consideration.

When we think of what being a “good” person really even means, it tends to help with some self-reflection.  For example if presented with a situation requiring you to choose between doing the right thing and doing the thing rightly, being good means doing the right thing, even if it earns ire of somebody whilst being nice means doing the thing which other person expects of you or you think will make them like you more.” –Rudra Pratap Singh Panjeta No doubt you may not have thought of this before. Do you take action expecting recognition? Or perhaps we do the right thing, thus following our moral code of being a good person. In today’s society and way of living, its hard to find time to do “good” deeds, which is sad to think about. There are times where, you can notice someone doing something “nice” such as holding a door for a person following, or maybe picking something up for a stranger, or stopping a violent action being taken towards another person. dont just walk by These are all things genuinely good  actions people take, and make us appreciate these hero of our everyday life! So when we notice these kind gestures, do we take away a lesson to pass it on to the next person? In most cases, we may smile and think, that was really kind of that stranger!

For some, that’s as far as that thought goes, granted we may be a little happier, but we are quick to return to our phone or whatever device that will take us to the distraction we seek. And that is where sometimes “good” actions tend to die in the eyes of people. We may think, “that was really sweet” but are we determined to pass on that action? Do we actively right away look for a way to pass on said action, to genuinely want to help people? people distracted.jpg

My question to you is, do you strive to be a good person? Are we looking for the Adulation of being “nice”? See there are times where even our “nice” action may go unnoticed. what do we do then? do we quickly frown, or get a little angry that the person we just helped, or the act of returning someones lost possession didn’t get us a thank you? Or a much-needed smile? If we are focusing on just doing “nice” things and quickly looking around to receive recognition or someone to notice us, we may want to start looking at things a little differently. thinking.png If for example you help that old lady with groceries, or maybe hold the door for a distracted friend, or stranger, do we get sad they didn’t notice? or do we continue to smile and carry on our day? You see being “good” earns you respect, while just trying to be “nice” will be taken for granted many more times than you can count!

So as a goal, why not try to simply continue and enjoy the good mood you are in, instead of seeking immediate response to the kind, nice, great, caring, action you just took? Or the interest you’ve shown in the person who everyone was talking over? Why not simply nurture this quality of being genuinely a good person and passing it on? The rewards will be much greater than simply doing things just so other people notice us.

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Chasing happiness

happy

Walking down the street the other day, I noticed an older Asian lady, walking with a small bag smiling and enjoying the day. It instantly made me happy to see her happiness radiated so well on her face and her actions and everything, it was contagious and i could tell right away she appreciated her day! How often do we walk past people like this who are genuinely happy and are just sharing that happiness with the world? And yet we are in our mind thinking about our job security or how we want to see a particular part of the world, or maybe how lucky these stars we follow on social media are being on that yacht or relaxing on a beach enjoying their life while we are here slaving away to our job and stressed. We choose to like the picture instead, not asking ourselves “well, why can’t i do that?” for some that question in itself makes us spiral more into a sad state as to our looks or our lack of talent in a particular area or whatever it is our mind decides to beat us down with. We come back to, “well this is all i can do right now, so i might as well not complain and just be happy”. But are we truly happy?

I often think about how successful people are always striving for MORE and still continuing to grow yet all we see is a new face in a new movie, or someone making crazy amounts of money on TOP of the already stupid rich account they have. And our mind instantly goes to, “aw man, if I had that much money there’s so much i could do.” and while that’s true, we fail to recognize the amount of work and challenges that person has gone through AND might currently be going through. we always focus on the materialistic things they have and how a large audience is paying attention to them, INCLUDING us! we never stop to think “hmm i wonder how many shots that athlete practiced to get to a point he’s making whatever amount of money hes getting paid.” we might think, “what!! how can he make that much money, man life isn’t fair.” and you’re right, life isn’t fair. life is….life. 111110-N-DR144-848Whatever you put into it is what you will get out of it, sounds cliché but let’s be real for a minute. have you ever ACTUALLY decided and committed all your time and energy to one practice for a crazy amount of time and ignored if people notice you or not and just practiced and did it every day? Chances are if you have, your skill will become something that is of value and can be turned into a profitable career, or can be of some value to someone who really needs your skill set. But chances are you probably went to school, entered the workforce after settling for a job you thought might be OK, and here you are today. photographer 2For the very lucky ones, you practiced writing since you fell in love with it, or took photos of things you loved, or developed a love of some field due to being inspired by someone you look up to and pursued it with everything you have. not being worried about your financial gain or whatever distraction might have come your way, and eventually made yourself happy and found a way to provide for yourself. most likely (myself included) we tend to stick to security, so finish school, find a job, save a little money here and there, and try to navigate this thing called life while day dreaming of other people’s lives and such.

 

Did you notice something different between the skills and things we learned, and the things we end up dreaming about doing?

writerThe difference is something we often overlook when it comes to work. and that is “love”. if you love photography, really love it, you’ll dedicate a huge amount of time to perfecting the art and whatever you want to share with others through your lens. you will invest in that thing you love so much that people may call you crazy, or may try to lead you down a different path. If you enjoyed that sport that you worked day and night to develop skill for, and joined teams, played with the best to bring out your potential and trained your body to handle all the challenges that come, you think you will have time to think about how “happy” other people are? chances are no. you will be happy, genuinely happy that you are doing something you LOVE.

Of course life doesn’t instantly get easier when we decide to pursue what we want to do, it still has its challenges and shortcomings, but learning from those mistakes and staying committed is what usually rewards those who  are focused. There will be days where we want to quit, or procrastinate and put things off for way too long, but at the end of the day we will be happy with the results and can always answer ourselves honestly when we encounter those times that we internally are judging and criticizing ourselves. Questions such as “do I really love this?” or “Is this all worth it?” maybe still plague us, but we can answer ourselves truthfully and reaffirm our love for that field or whatever it is we are following without doubt or second guessing ourselves.

 

the world is yours

Ambition

img-thing“a strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.”

When we look at the definition of ambition, the words that jump out to us are often the obvious ones, yet we seem to overlook the words that we should really be taking into account. Are you thinking of the same words? When you read that definition does your mind right away notice the words “determination” and “hard work”? Of course those are very important aspects when we are trying to reach success or a goal that we have laid out in front of us. And no doubt they are the two factors that will perhaps result in our success or failure of whatever it is we want to accomplish. Yet, when i read that definition, the words that stand out to me are different, the words that draw my attention right away, as you’ve guessed it, are “strong desire”.

Now you might be thinking well its nice if you have a strong desire to do something, but that hard work and determination are what you need to focus on. But lets take a moment to really dive into having ambition and what it means to different people. Many people today aren’t as ambitious as they should be due to one factor. Its not that they don’t work hard, or that they don’t have enough determination, it simply comes down to WHY they want to do what it is they are doing. You might be determined and work very hard to pass that test you have coming up, but whats after that? Are you back to taking it easy? only having to work that same level of concentration again later when you need it? Or will you keep that level of hard work and studying up? You see many people are often surprised by how much they can do when they put their minds to the task at hand. Many have gone from thinking its “impossible” to “wow..i did that”. We might not verbalize it, but we will definitely be thinking it when we accomplish that task. So why is it that we cant do that for everything that comes up? Well it comes down to your desire, and how strong it is when it comes to choosing to chase something.

When athletes go into events or start their training routine, we might think they have it easy or that they are really talented, so that’s probably why they win so much. But no, its the hard work they put in when we don’t see them, its also their desire, the one pushing them to keep going when others stop or when others take a break. Sure they may be working hard, but your desire is what it comes down to. if you really want to win, and i mean win and better yourself, you aren’t going to stop because you’ve done more than that other person, you will keep going to better yourself and to reach that goal.  Reggie Jackson struck out 2,600 times but hes recognized for his home runs. Not the strike outs. Do you think his desire was hindered by the failure he ran into? or was he phased and continued to do his best regardless of what obstacle he ran into? reggie jackson

But lets use an example that we regular non athletes might run into much more often, lets say we want to improve our health, or physical appearance. Do we put in the amount of work worthy of the change that will occur? Or do we go to the gym here and there and hope our body will somehow suddenly change for us. are we constantly thinking about our meals and the preparation that goes into working hard even on days where we might want to stay at home and watch that new episode on Netflix? or are we quick to skip our plans and what effort we would have put in only to hangout with our friends and enjoy the social activities that enticed us to leave our goal? see when we start to develop a strong desire to do something, we always put it first, we always stick to our plans and to reach that goal our desire must keep us moving. when we give up easily or when we procrastinate it teaches our body, and we develop habits around that mental thinking, that there will always be tomorrow, or next week, or we put in enough hard work already so we deserve a break. our mind will begin to convince us that we don’t need to eat healthy, or maintain a daily exercise routine, because we can always do that later. Our desire needs to be strong enough to pull us towards our goal.

DCF 1.0

When thinking of something we want to do or want to succeed at, its important to keep in mind our ambition will play a big part. It might be our secular job, our exercise routine, or simply wanting to find a career we love. All of these areas are where our ambition will make a major impact, so take your time, work hard and be determined but most importantly have that strong desire to commit and finish what it is you are pursuing regardless of the hurdles or challenges that come your way.

 

 

Changes

well here we are a new year and surprisingly everyone is following the typical NEW YEAR NEW ME routine, of course i don’t want to exclude myself. it seems to be a mindset everyone goes into that new year with every ear but end up repeating the same mistakes/habits setting the same goals and such. but, what exactly CAN we change? of course major life changes and goals take time to pursue and to even act upon rather than just think about, but are there any changes that we can act upon and keep ourselves moving in the right direction for the whole year? and yes, i mean other than that membership at the gym you got last week but then rewarded yourself with that number 1 combo at mcfatty’s (McDonald’s i mean)….don’t worry. we’ve all been there, on the verge of making some huge monumental improvement or commitment to our personal life and….sunk back into that same routine we are so very used to and comfortable doing. so what can help us make ANY changes or any slight movement in the right direction in order to really live up to the new person and new things we want to do in the new year?!

Small goals. that’s it. small goals that are attainable are honestly a great way to boost your self-confidence and to propel you in the right direction. and small goals are things that we CAN achieve in the set time we have. not the “its 2017! i need to get ripped in the next two weeks to impress my friends!”streching-reach Which plays down to two weeks of pain and then quitting and going back to Netflix and whatever else took up our time when we were bored. No, small goals are things that you and me can accomplish and lead to accomplishing BIGGER goals. say for example your goal happens to be that you want to live a healthier life, well what are some small goals that can help work towards that? maybe getting a routine of hitting the gym 3 days a week, meal prepping a healthy meal say for those three days, or even 2 days if you want. and really committing to it. its easier to fool our mind into this by starting small. rather than jumping into a 5 day workout program, daily food intake that is recommended off that awesome website that has all these hits, why not work on something that YOU can do, not something someone else had the time to perfect for their selves? see everyone had to start somewhere right? even that person you look up to or athlete, had a beginners program or workout or small goals they worked towards before being where they are, so why not give yourself the same advantage? slowly work towards that goal and don’t give up, since our mind tends to talk us out of things fairly early on.gym_cardio_area_overlooking_greenery

“ok we get it, if we wanna work out start out small, why does any of this matter to me? my goals don’t have to do with the gym, or healthy life and such, I’m fine in that area. my goal this year, is to expand my social circle! find new friends! enjoy life!” if that’s along the lines of what you’re thinking than good for you! i wish all the best. in fact this is something i personally always try to work on. but if you’re like me, there are times where i find it hard to make friends or to go out of my way to expand my network. so what has worked for me? im sure its different for everyone, but personally for me, i find starting small again works even in the area of social interaction.new friends.jpg That’s hard for me to admit since i happen to be like the little energizer bunny, i tend to be everywhere at the same time, always mouthing off whatever comes to my mind, laughing, never taking things seriously, a little too much to handle for some. but, when it comes to making friends or reaching out to network, i try to tone things down and maybe even shut up for once. hard to believe i know, but it’s helped me gain amazing friends who later grow used to the normal side i have. the first mistake i always made was to shut out those that don’t have the same interests or anything in common with, often thinking “well there’s nothing i like that they like too….this isn’t gonna work at all.” but….gaining and making new friends and developing strong friendships is done by respecting and appreciating the differences brought to our life by new friends and such. the different things to talk about the new adventures we hear they have been on, really anything that we will be sharing will be new to one or the other. so something that hit me was that embracing the differences in fact sometimes taking part and trying that awesome new food joint your friends says is the best shawarma place ever might in fact….be the best shawarma place ever. doing everything and anything from trying new food, reading that new book, anything that really gives us a chance to try something new and appreciate our new friends makes our friendships and bonds that much stronger. so don’t be afraid in your search to try new things and to appreciate the difference that others will be bringing into your new outlook, because after all that’s how the adventures that we seek start.SDCC_2012_-_cosplayers_at_Sultan_Shawarma_(7613677308).jpg

 

so what are we excited for in the new year? any amazing trips planned with friends? any new courses/education goals we are taking that will lead to what we want to pursue? share if you want below! I’ll be sure to keep this blog a little more active this year!

We’ve all been there, really wanting to write something or share some ideas, or even simply get the feeling that we’ve accomplished something. Yet we don’t exactly know what to write about. We like to think and tell ourselves “hey! I’m a great writer. I can write about ANYTHING!”. So….why can’t we think of something to write about or engage our fellow peers in? usually the one thing standing in our way is over thinking. we overthink everything and dissect things till we lose motivation and convince ourselves that it’s too hard or we talk our way out of it. well hopefully these 5 tips can help when you find yourself out of ideas.

  1. Write down your ideas! I can’t stress this point enough. so many times we have a crazy amount of drafts or things we have started but haven’t finished or come back to finish up. and it happens, life sometimes gets busy and we forget that little article about why you feel cats are better than dogs. Or that story you had to share that taught you a very important lesson in an area that’s now largely impacting your life. whatever the case maybe, life will always throw you an extra ball to juggle when you get comfortable with what you have on your hands.
    blog-image-write-down-ideas
    write them down anywhere you can!

    The trick is to write down those times you have those amazing ideas but can’t work on them. the reason being, you are sure to create a pattern and tap into that excitement and energy you had when you first got excited about your idea but didn’t have time to DO anything about it. Let’s take for example a friends texts you or messages you on your phone or any social media, and they have exciting plans for mini golf this weekend! or…like karaoke! whatever you like….I’m just throwing ideas out there…anyways, chances are after all the planning is done and whatnot you will be looking back at that message a couple times no doubt excited about your plans or maybe a little anxious about making yourself look silly in front of your friends because, let’s face it you probably don’t mini golf that regularly or sing…unless 3:30 in the afternoon after your morning shift when you’re belting out that new Justin Bieber song you hate counts, there’s a good chance you aren’t a great singer either. the point being, when the work day rolls around on Friday you might forget or suddenly get a text reminding you about your weekend activities, and all of a sudden your days goes quicker and you are just as excited when you got the text in the first place. the same can be applied for that great idea you have, if you write it down and find yourself bored or anything, open up wherever you wrote your idea down and add to it! or better yet finish preparing yourself for the time you have to share it with others! For myself I always forget and never write things down, but having a handy notebook or something even on your phone that you can quickly write down your ideas regardless of spelling mistakes since I mean..come on this is a great idea, will surely help you get in the habit of recording them with the intention of writing about it later.

  1. What should I write about? this is the fun part. ANYTHING. literally anything that you feel passionately about you can write about! the freedom of writing is that you can share anything you have on your mind with the world and chances are there will be those who appreciate or at least look at things a little differently. either way you would have learned a very important lesson, one that will carry over into other areas of your life. being organized and keep track of things will help you stay on top of important assignments or dates and things that you might ACTUALLY need to be writing down.thinking also, the purpose of writing sometimes is to express things in YOUR point of view. Sharing how YOU feel and handled something is a neat experience you can pass on. because you are one of a kind. anything you share will be felt/handled/taken differently from all your readers simply because it happened to YOU. so don’t be afraid to share, because if you don’t you sometimes talk yourself out of anything due to the fact the little voice that says “oh this happens to everyone, no one will want to read this” will take over and before you know it you forget or simply give up.
  1. ideaI have an idea! I even wrote about it! but…it’s not long enough. often this is another area that we encounter and try to tackle aggressively by simply just adding filler material. do NOT do that. your readers will know when you aren’t as passionate about what you’re saying anymore! and before you know it they will lose interest. so try to not give yourself such a huge work load! write about something you’re sure you can pour your experience and can talk about comfortably without having to use other things that you don’t want to talk about just to fill the space. sharing what you’re feeling strongly about will demonstrate itself throughout your writing and before you know it, you will know exactly what things you can write about for hours on end and what things simply interest you a little. doing so will also increase your knowledge base, since you will try new things and find out more about yourself!
  1. Well….everyone’s writing about this already. I want to be original! To be honest this advice probably could have stayed with point number 2. but it’s easily something that happens that it needs to be repeated and added. simply because 50 other people have shared the same story or experience or anything, doesn’t mean you are not original. it simply means there’s 50 different ways things could have happened or have happened. your story matters!
    sad-looking-away
    No one will wanna read it anyway….i’m an idiot…”

    how you felt, what happened, how YOU viewed things all contribute to originality. granted there may be times where you think that things happened to you exactly the same way as someone else, and that may be true. but there is more than one ways of telling a story, and your narrative and experience might just help the other person out in more ways then you know! building a sense of familiarity with someone JUST through writing is an interesting experience. and there will always be at least ONE difference to things where you felt different way about how things were going. so do NOT be afraid to share. worst case scenario you share your story and now you have a friend who has gone through the same thing. and understands perfectly what you mean or show you feel and how things turned out for both of you!goalkeeper

  1. Goals, Goals, Goals! having a goal you are working towards helps you out in allot of areas. for example, a goal of mine is to improve my writing materials quality and simply get a better understanding of how to engage a large audience. now in my day to day activities my personality is usually very charismatic and extroverted. so I do not have a problem engaging others and drawing them out. now being about to do that through writing can be difficult but that’s why it’s a goal I am WORKING towards. each entry (as few as they may be) help me get closer to my goal. your goal may be different, you may want to simply share and demonstrate your superior writing talents with the world! or maybe show off your insane vocabulary. or maybe you want to simply take up writing as a new hobby, whatever the case setting a goal that is attainable or one that will have you focused can increase your motivation and effort greatly! for example whenever I sit to write about ANYTHING, I think about what I want to accomplish at the end. Have I added a little bit of my personality into this piece? is it helpful to others? can someone read this and not have difficulty following my crazy thinking process? Things that I can actively work on help me set a goal and achieve it.

I hope these tips have helped you in any way, or you have taken a little bit of advice from this! please share any ideas below or maybe leave me a link to read something you’ve decided to share. I love reading anything that really helps me understand others better so don’t be shy. Also, to all the great mini golf players out there and karaoke people…..apologies. I’m sure you are great at what you do. so do you!

Rainy days

rainy days

Waking up with a slight cold in the air, we can usually tell pretty quick without opening the blinds whether its raining or is about to. the smell of rain itself is usually something that alerts us that it’s happened or is about to. for me personally, rain is something that is inviting and usually makes me want to go out and splash around or go for a walk and just enjoy it. i remember growing up thinking that there was nothing more fun then running around while it was raining and sliding everywhere and just enjoying it. maybe its was something fun to do as a kid but definitely something that stays with you. Another thing about rain is the fact it can be so scary, and can be very hostile at times depending on where it is we live. so to assure those who think maybe i enjoy it for simply its calmness, i understand the dangers it causes and sometimes can cause.

staying_a_kidgrowing up there were times when i thought the day was ruined if it rained. to a little child sometimes they can view rain as something that didn’t have a purpose and was just taking away the good days. the sunny days where we can run around, or go to the park, or enjoy a walk on a breezy summer day. but a majority of the time you can get away doing some of those activities IN the rain! there’s nothing better than having the quite sound of just rain and getting a chance to be in it and enjoy it for its beauty. just sitting and quietly listening to it can create a perfect atmosphere to maybe clear our mind, or simply stare in amazement at nature and how it works. As humans we depend on rain for everything it does, whether it’s for the simple necessity of food, or for the fact it brings forth all the beauty we get to enjoy on a sunny day, all the color and everything we love so much usually has to enjoy a good long shower before it blooms. no doubt the rain has a lot of benefits.

Rain in all its beauty, usually causes different feelings to arise in all of us. for me i can associate it with happiness at times due to the fact  it encourages the innocence we all had as kids to blossom and to enjoy it and take a break from whatever it is, is occupying our mind. or sometimes it can be a sad feeling, where we feel as if things are too much of a burden and life is slowing us down, to which sometimes we hide away, stay in bed, not feel motivated to do much, but at the end of the day, we know tomorrow is gonna be better. And as humans we always associate the end of something such as rain to say the bad times being over, or we liken the rain to our bad days, days where we can’t get something right, or feel down about something and rain only adds to the sadness. but even in that sadness, we look forward to seeing the sun again and gain all this hope and new appreciation for the troubles we are going through or the current weather.

sunnny
remember that every drop of rain that falls bears into the bosom of the earth a quality of beautiful fertility. – George Henry lewes

 

a quote I often like to think about when it rains is “some people feel the rain. others just get wet.” – bob Marley. and how true those words are. see some hate it and can’t see the good side in it. or are too stubborn to notice and simply take a break from their busy lives to notice something so beautiful in front of them. granted, in this world its hard to stop anything and appreciate something as simple as…well…rain. but if we do, the rewards are much better then whatever it is we are too busy doing to realize the beauty that is given to us for free. that quote also makes me think of how we are all so different, and that the simple things can be over looked by those in a hurry to carry out whatever it is they are doing. But the ones who enjoy the simple things usually find a way to find appreciation for whatever it is that is presented in front of them and find a beauty in it, or simply enjoy the feeling of it in the moment and make the best of it. and those are my kind of people.child-and-rain

so next time, if you’re in a hurry to go grab that coffee, or maybe stuck inside all day and need a break from all the work but its raining out, or maybe already outside and can feel the rain starting, or maybe listening to country music which is something you shouldn’t be wasting your time doing, take a quick break from the busy life you lead to enjoy the rain. take a minute to watch it fall and let it really give you a minute of clarity, you might just enjoy the rest of your day and be in a brighter mood after. and chances are that line for coffee isn’t so long anymore, or all of a sudden you have a million ideas on how to finish that project you spent all day working on, or your radio/iPod/YouTube station might suddenly realize there’s  no point in the country music you were listening to continue playing. either way whatever it is we are doing, take a minute to enjoy the rain.