We often hear “Oh that guy/girl is really nice!” or maybe when asked on the spot to describe someone you consider a friend we tend to over use the word. There is nothing wrong at all with that description, and I’m sure once we are thinking we use different words to describe our likes and dislikes of our friends. I read somewhere online “Niceness is an external action, goodness is internal. Don’t try to be a nice person, try to be a good person. if you’re a good person the niceness will manifest naturally.” After reading that, i completely realized how there is such a big difference. i always knew that people can act “nice” or “kind” but i never took it into further consideration.
When we think of what being a “good” person really even means, it tends to help with some self-reflection. “ For example if presented with a situation requiring you to choose between doing the right thing and doing the thing rightly, being good means doing the right thing, even if it earns ire of somebody whilst being nice means doing the thing which other person expects of you or you think will make them like you more.” –Rudra Pratap Singh Panjeta No doubt you may not have thought of this before. Do you take action expecting recognition? Or perhaps we do the right thing, thus following our moral code of being a good person. In today’s society and way of living, its hard to find time to do “good” deeds, which is sad to think about. There are times where, you can notice someone doing something “nice” such as holding a door for a person following, or maybe picking something up for a stranger, or stopping a violent action being taken towards another person. These are all things genuinely good actions people take, and make us appreciate these hero of our everyday life! So when we notice these kind gestures, do we take away a lesson to pass it on to the next person? In most cases, we may smile and think, that was really kind of that stranger!
For some, that’s as far as that thought goes, granted we may be a little happier, but we are quick to return to our phone or whatever device that will take us to the distraction we seek. And that is where sometimes “good” actions tend to die in the eyes of people. We may think, “that was really sweet” but are we determined to pass on that action? Do we actively right away look for a way to pass on said action, to genuinely want to help people?
My question to you is, do you strive to be a good person? Are we looking for the Adulation of being “nice”? See there are times where even our “nice” action may go unnoticed. what do we do then? do we quickly frown, or get a little angry that the person we just helped, or the act of returning someones lost possession didn’t get us a thank you? Or a much-needed smile? If we are focusing on just doing “nice” things and quickly looking around to receive recognition or someone to notice us, we may want to start looking at things a little differently. If for example you help that old lady with groceries, or maybe hold the door for a distracted friend, or stranger, do we get sad they didn’t notice? or do we continue to smile and carry on our day? You see being “good” earns you respect, while just trying to be “nice” will be taken for granted many more times than you can count!
So as a goal, why not try to simply continue and enjoy the good mood you are in, instead of seeking immediate response to the kind, nice, great, caring, action you just took? Or the interest you’ve shown in the person who everyone was talking over? Why not simply nurture this quality of being genuinely a good person and passing it on? The rewards will be much greater than simply doing things just so other people notice us.