Are you nice, or good?

We often hear “Oh that guy/girl is really nice!” or maybe when asked on the spot to describe someone you consider a friend we tend to over use the word.free hugs There is nothing wrong at all with that description, and I’m sure once we are thinking we use different words to describe our likes and dislikes of our friends. I read somewhere online “Niceness is an external action, goodness is internal. Don’t try to be a nice person, try to be a good person. if you’re a good person the niceness will manifest naturally.” After reading that, i completely realized how there is such a big difference. i always knew that people can act “nice” or “kind” but i never took it into further consideration.

When we think of what being a “good” person really even means, it tends to help with some self-reflection.  For example if presented with a situation requiring you to choose between doing the right thing and doing the thing rightly, being good means doing the right thing, even if it earns ire of somebody whilst being nice means doing the thing which other person expects of you or you think will make them like you more.” –Rudra Pratap Singh Panjeta No doubt you may not have thought of this before. Do you take action expecting recognition? Or perhaps we do the right thing, thus following our moral code of being a good person. In today’s society and way of living, its hard to find time to do “good” deeds, which is sad to think about. There are times where, you can notice someone doing something “nice” such as holding a door for a person following, or maybe picking something up for a stranger, or stopping a violent action being taken towards another person. dont just walk by These are all things genuinely good  actions people take, and make us appreciate these hero of our everyday life! So when we notice these kind gestures, do we take away a lesson to pass it on to the next person? In most cases, we may smile and think, that was really kind of that stranger!

For some, that’s as far as that thought goes, granted we may be a little happier, but we are quick to return to our phone or whatever device that will take us to the distraction we seek. And that is where sometimes “good” actions tend to die in the eyes of people. We may think, “that was really sweet” but are we determined to pass on that action? Do we actively right away look for a way to pass on said action, to genuinely want to help people? people distracted.jpg

My question to you is, do you strive to be a good person? Are we looking for the Adulation of being “nice”? See there are times where even our “nice” action may go unnoticed. what do we do then? do we quickly frown, or get a little angry that the person we just helped, or the act of returning someones lost possession didn’t get us a thank you? Or a much-needed smile? If we are focusing on just doing “nice” things and quickly looking around to receive recognition or someone to notice us, we may want to start looking at things a little differently. thinking.png If for example you help that old lady with groceries, or maybe hold the door for a distracted friend, or stranger, do we get sad they didn’t notice? or do we continue to smile and carry on our day? You see being “good” earns you respect, while just trying to be “nice” will be taken for granted many more times than you can count!

So as a goal, why not try to simply continue and enjoy the good mood you are in, instead of seeking immediate response to the kind, nice, great, caring, action you just took? Or the interest you’ve shown in the person who everyone was talking over? Why not simply nurture this quality of being genuinely a good person and passing it on? The rewards will be much greater than simply doing things just so other people notice us.

helping hand

 

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Chasing happiness

happy

Walking down the street the other day, I noticed an older Asian lady, walking with a small bag smiling and enjoying the day. It instantly made me happy to see her happiness radiated so well on her face and her actions and everything, it was contagious and i could tell right away she appreciated her day! How often do we walk past people like this who are genuinely happy and are just sharing that happiness with the world? And yet we are in our mind thinking about our job security or how we want to see a particular part of the world, or maybe how lucky these stars we follow on social media are being on that yacht or relaxing on a beach enjoying their life while we are here slaving away to our job and stressed. We choose to like the picture instead, not asking ourselves “well, why can’t i do that?” for some that question in itself makes us spiral more into a sad state as to our looks or our lack of talent in a particular area or whatever it is our mind decides to beat us down with. We come back to, “well this is all i can do right now, so i might as well not complain and just be happy”. But are we truly happy?

I often think about how successful people are always striving for MORE and still continuing to grow yet all we see is a new face in a new movie, or someone making crazy amounts of money on TOP of the already stupid rich account they have. And our mind instantly goes to, “aw man, if I had that much money there’s so much i could do.” and while that’s true, we fail to recognize the amount of work and challenges that person has gone through AND might currently be going through. we always focus on the materialistic things they have and how a large audience is paying attention to them, INCLUDING us! we never stop to think “hmm i wonder how many shots that athlete practiced to get to a point he’s making whatever amount of money hes getting paid.” we might think, “what!! how can he make that much money, man life isn’t fair.” and you’re right, life isn’t fair. life is….life. 111110-N-DR144-848Whatever you put into it is what you will get out of it, sounds cliché but let’s be real for a minute. have you ever ACTUALLY decided and committed all your time and energy to one practice for a crazy amount of time and ignored if people notice you or not and just practiced and did it every day? Chances are if you have, your skill will become something that is of value and can be turned into a profitable career, or can be of some value to someone who really needs your skill set. But chances are you probably went to school, entered the workforce after settling for a job you thought might be OK, and here you are today. photographer 2For the very lucky ones, you practiced writing since you fell in love with it, or took photos of things you loved, or developed a love of some field due to being inspired by someone you look up to and pursued it with everything you have. not being worried about your financial gain or whatever distraction might have come your way, and eventually made yourself happy and found a way to provide for yourself. most likely (myself included) we tend to stick to security, so finish school, find a job, save a little money here and there, and try to navigate this thing called life while day dreaming of other people’s lives and such.

 

Did you notice something different between the skills and things we learned, and the things we end up dreaming about doing?

writerThe difference is something we often overlook when it comes to work. and that is “love”. if you love photography, really love it, you’ll dedicate a huge amount of time to perfecting the art and whatever you want to share with others through your lens. you will invest in that thing you love so much that people may call you crazy, or may try to lead you down a different path. If you enjoyed that sport that you worked day and night to develop skill for, and joined teams, played with the best to bring out your potential and trained your body to handle all the challenges that come, you think you will have time to think about how “happy” other people are? chances are no. you will be happy, genuinely happy that you are doing something you LOVE.

Of course life doesn’t instantly get easier when we decide to pursue what we want to do, it still has its challenges and shortcomings, but learning from those mistakes and staying committed is what usually rewards those who  are focused. There will be days where we want to quit, or procrastinate and put things off for way too long, but at the end of the day we will be happy with the results and can always answer ourselves honestly when we encounter those times that we internally are judging and criticizing ourselves. Questions such as “do I really love this?” or “Is this all worth it?” maybe still plague us, but we can answer ourselves truthfully and reaffirm our love for that field or whatever it is we are following without doubt or second guessing ourselves.

 

the world is yours

Opportunity

FeaturedOpportunity

“we don’t all have equal opportunity, but we all have the opportunity to be better than we currently are.”

When I first ran into this quote, which comes off a video/audio piece on fearless motivation, I was thinking to myself, “well that doesn’t make any sense.” but as I continued to listen and kept thinking about it, it really hit home for me. We always underestimate how much we can do and what exactly we can accomplish, by saying and providing ourselves with excuses such as “well, I’m not qualified for that job, so why should I apply?” Or maybe we talk ourselves out of taking a chance, an opportunity, by simply thinking we have nothing so why should we even bother to start something that will require resources we currently don’t have. Another quote I always like to think about is this:

““If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be.” Dale Carnegie

when we think about it like this, I’m sure we all suddenly feel like questioning ourselves, “what am I doing right now? am I working towards a goal, a dream? anything important?” chances are we are barely surviving or maybe struggling to pay bills or again just simply going through the motions. But how exactly CAN we change anything in our lives if all we do is complain how everything is the same everyday and how we aren’t progressing or anything at all, if we aren’t even trying to change? see, change in itself isn’t easy, writing these pieces myself, I am in the processes of changing. Sharing these points is my way of changing, and doing more. I’m taking an opportunity to improve my writing skills, my interests, my dreams.

See opportunity doesn’t present itself to those who have lost hope, those who have given up on making a bigger impact. It’s not something that comes to you while not trying to reach higher and do more, opportunity comes to those who are seeking them. And once they find them, they conquer them and grow. Thus, taking their lives to a higher level. So attracting great things in your life, first requires us to put out great things, to offer great things to others. not to sit and complain. “If you are throwing out your story of hardship and bad luck, this universe is going to throw back more examples of hard ship and bad luck for you to deal with.”

So next time we wake up, ready to challenge our day, why not take chances of the opportunities that will come our way, when we start being positive and actively are hoping for something better. If we are trying our best, working hard, those opportunities will come. “This world will always reflect back to you, your very own attitude and beliefs.” So trying our best, putting forth that effort to be great, will always work out to our benefit.

 

Make sure you are Living

oscar wilde

Whenever I think about that quote, it really sends chills down my spine. Not because its something we can look at and just appreciate at a passing glance, but the reality of it really hits us at times and we choose to over look it. What does it mean to live? Rather than existing? Well the reason this hit home for me is because sometimes we really don’t realize how fragile life is. See once we are comfortable or not working hard towards some goal or dream, the comfort and the time that passes isn’t something we can get back. the most precious resource we have as humans, is time. But if we waste it, its over with.

Living is something we think we are doing when in reality sometimes we are simply just exisiting, repeating the same actions over and over, often feeling like we are in a rut. Wanting to change a rountine but never really getting around to it, always putting it off. And something we don’t think about and don’t want to do is taking a risk, maybe finding out where our talents really are, where we can have the biggest impact. But the comfort of life usually kills any thoughts of discomfort that will follow if we want to pursue a change. And rightfully so, why would we want to make our life uncomfortable? Why would we want to take risks when we can take It easy?

Because living is the reason we should pursue our dreams. If we are slaving away, working for someone else’s dreams and just getting by, do we really feel fulfilled? When we turn on the TV, and see the athletes or the people that are making a name for themselves and reaching goals, do we ever think “I wish I could do that?” I’m sure many of us have. The thing we don’t realize is, they didn’t reach their goal from a place of comfort.

mike phelps

Do you think Michael Phelps reached his peak from a position of comfort? Or that Steve job started apple from a position of comfort? No! The struggle and the hard work was something they went out of their way to PURSUE. They worked hard, they knew the price and the patience and the struggle they would have to go through. Granted we only see the success, we don’t really see the hard work which usually puts the image in our mind that you have to be talented, or special to do those things. And that is where we are wrong, hard work is something that all our hero’s, people we look up to, have put in. They worked when others were asleep, they put in twice as much when others put in barely a half days work. see the only way to reach and do our best to find and pursue a dream, is to do things we haven’t done before. To try things we haven’t tried, and have always talked ourselves out of. when our mind tells us we cant do anything and we agree, it often puts limitations on us. and these limitations really come to fruition when we try to do something but already have failed in our mind. and so that carries over. The people we end up watching on TV, they worked past their limitations, they didn’t mentally stop themselves before even attempting the work needed to be put in to reach what they wanted to do with their life.

Our life is something unique to each person, so to simply exist and move along at regular pace Is something we unconsciously do. But isn’t it better to walk alone in the right direction for us, rather then the wrong direction with the majority? For instance think of something right now you know you excel at, you are good at. Now ask yourself, am I bettering myself and pursuing it? What are the challenges in the way? Are they ones that require hard work? and commitment? Is that why we are shying away? Are we perhaps putting up excuses that mentally stop us from trying? Not doing, but simply TRYING? We have to be careful not to view life as something that we can’t do anything about, because in reality we can make a difference, we can pursue our goals. People don’t want to read about the ones who inherited greatness, rather the ones who struggled and have a story that shows they worked hard to reach their goals. So next time you wake up, challenge yourself to do something different, to change your life, not simply think about it, or daydream at work later. Challenge yourself to perhaps live, instead of simply exist.chagne